1) Fitness: Lean weight gain to 80kgs with below 10% body fat and visible sixpack. Complete the 500 workout in one day.

2) Finance: Open investment portfolio with $4000 by the end of January. Increase personal worth to over $14000 in one year.

3) Art: Produce 16 salable artworks. Hold a joint exhibition with other artists.

4) Learning: Read 12 books on any topic.

5) Health: Brush and floss every day at least once.

6) Romance: Enjoy any romantic relationships that occur as they are, for as long as they last.

For those who haven't been following the news blogs, there is a serious issue that is recieving no coverage in mainstream media. That is the wholesale censorship of the Australian internet. [link]
That won't affect me, I just won't sign up. The censorship will be "opt-out", not "opt-in" in English, that means that like having an accent that makes you sound like you're asking questions when you aren't. simply by being an Australian you tacitly agree to it. Also, you voted for it.
But I voted for the other guy so it's not my problem. Both major parties in the last election included identical proposals for internet censorship in their campain promises. By participating in the last election you voted for this.
I didn't vote. Enough!
Look, it isn't like I wanted to look up child porn. That's all it's filering right? There will be two filters. There will be the adult filter which will be compulsory on all public access computers but with the option for individuals with home connections to "opt-out" of the "service" by contacting their ISP. They will still be subject to the illegal content filter.
So I can just opt-out and I'll be okay? The illegal filter will still be in place even if you opt out of the child filter.
That filter is just going to be P2P networks, CP sites, and torrent trackers and such right? Can you site one instance where censorship did not go too far? Let me rephrase. In the test model, the filtered content is deturmined by the government with no outside authority to keep tabs on what is censored and what is allowed. Even if you do trust this government, do you trust every government that comes after it to censor all of Australia's access to the last bastian of free media which is the internet?
I don't really pay attention to the news. What's a bastion? Let me dumb this down a bit. If you personally sit at your computer, scan over this entry, grunt disaprovingly about the government screwing the little guy and then continue browsing webcomics and filling in personality tests to see what colour you are, then you, the person reading this right now are directly responsible for the eventual and inevitable abuse of this power. You will have nobody to blame but yourself when they take away your porn.
Not my porn! Finally, A language you speak! Okay, its the porn. Forget freedom of speech. Forget governments controlling the transmission. Forget that everybody is afraid to speak out against this because they don't want to look like they support pedophiles. Forget that the Australian population was railroaded into voting for this. THINK OF THE BLOODY PORN!!!
Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! What can I do great sage! Righto, get yourself to the No Clean Feed website [link] for a list of ways to make yourself heard. Write it in your blog. Write to your local member. Write to Senator Conroy who is the one pushing for this. Write to the media, this needs to be covered. Suck at writing? Copy and past the sample letter and fill in your name at the bottom. You have my permission to copy paste this whole entry into your journal. Sign a petition. Do something! Do it now!

Alright, let me just finish checking my email. Sigh... IF YOU DONT SEND THIS MESSAGE TO 10 OF YOUR FRIENDS IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES THEN YOU WILL NEVA MEET UR TRU LOVE AND THEN U'LL BE SODOMISED BY A BUS!!!! IF YOU DO SEND THIS MESSAGE TO OVER 9000 OF YOUR FRIENDS BILL GATES WILL PERSONALLY HAND U A CHECK FOR $100 US FOR EACH ONE AT A BIG AWARD SEREMONY WHERE YOU WILL MEET YOUR SOUL MATE, HAVE LOTS OF SEX FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND THERE WILL BE CAKE!!!!!

[link] is the original location of this conversation. I enjoyed it so much I thought I'd share.

cacai230: I am saddened that you blaspheme the saviour.

Meioma: lol awsome! Jesus is my fav fairy tale character!^^

cacai230: Un, no to be rude, but Jesus is not a fairy tale character, he is real.

jamindavey: Well Zombie Jesus is real to me and I find your blasphemy comments offensive. Take them back now.

cacai230: no, because jesus is not a zombie, he is alive and well

jamindavey: Perhaps by YOUR beliefs a man god can suffer a few hours on a cross and spend a few days in the grave to pay for the eternity of death and suffering owed to mankind but in MY view, Jesus must suffer eternally as a zombie in order to pay the cost of eternal damnation. IF you read your Bible you will see that the mortal wounds which caused Jesus to die were never healed when he was raised. Thomas even stuck his hand in them. Therefore, with unhealed, mortal wounds, the risen Lord MUST be a zombie.

cacai230: so, if jesus suffers eternally as a zombie, then where is that zombie now? huh?

jamindavey: He hangs out with with Lazarus and all the other zombies raised at the same time (see Matthew 27:51-53), as since the Bible clearly states that you can only die once (see Hebrews 9:27) they're not going anywhere until judgement day.

cacai230: well then where are the other zombie? huh

jamindavey: Walking around among us.

cacai230: no, no, no, he is in heaven and seated on the right hand of the father almighty from where he will judge the living and the dead

jamindavey: So you do believe in Zombie Jesus?

cacai230: no, because he is alive in heaven

jamindavey: Are his mortal wounds healed now or are they, as the bible describes?

cacai230: its is as the bible describes nut thats is to show that he is really risen from the dead

jamindavey: If he still has unhealed, mortal wounds which did in fact kill him and yet walks, breathes, talks and eats then he is an animated corpse. If, when the centurian jabbed him in the side, the 'water' that came out was limph, proving the his heart had stopped, and the state of no heartbeat was not healed then his body is dead. Since there is still a hole in his side there is no reason to believe that his heart has been reactivated as this would have the effect of a perpetual jushing fountain of blood spilling from his side, hands and feet; a detail gross enough to be included in the Bible. If there in no heartbeat and no bloodflow, his body is technically dead. Even if it has been preserved and avoiding decomposition over all these years by being posessed by a spirit, it is definitely a dead thing.

Coincidentally, since touching a dead thing would make the spirit unclean, it is impossible that the posessing spirit could be considered holy.

zxJayColdxz: I worship you.

I haven't heard back from cacai for seven days so I guess the discussion is over. Shame that. I had a whole speech prepared about symbolically feasting upon the blood and bones of a dead man. Okay, it is a hollow victory of intellect to win a debate over somebody who ends half their posts with "huh?" but I laughed, and that is what counts. All hail zombie jesus!

Time for a general update and assessment of my life. I like to do these from time to time just to keep a handle on who I am and where I'm headed. It is also a good way of assessing if I need a firm kick up the backside.
Finance:
I quit my high pay/high stress job at the call centre over a month ago now. It was nice having a lot of money and in around three months of work I was able to save just over $1000 as well as paying for some surprise medical expenses. I quit before my $500 bonus came through. It may've been wise to hang in another two weeks for that but at the time I simply couldn't bear another day in that place.
Since then I got myself some agency work in hospitality. I've worked at Parliament House, Doombin Raceway, and The Gabba. I was offered some work at the Casino last night but I turned it down. I'm not very good at just grabbing my stuff and going to work at a moment's notice. Work is something a have to psyche myself up for. That is probably not a good thing. The pay is minimum skilled casual ($17.70). The skilled bit is because I had to get an RSA certificate and I have to be able to carry three plates and open wine bottles with a wine knife. The work itself is pretty diverse and interesting, but when I consider how much time it takes to travel to some of these places, the pay really doesn't cover it. Also, aside from the surprise shifts that would require me dropping everything to even have a hope of arriving on time, I've only been getting a couple of shifts each week so I've been dipping into my savings to stay afloat. Not a good practice.
I did do a shift looking after children (3-4 year olds) at a language school for immigrants. That was a lot of fun actually. There might be a position there for me to fill for a few weeks later in the year when the woman I was working with goes on leave. Even if there isn't, childcare is an option I hadn't seriously considered before. I will have to update my blue card. Better put that on a to-do list.
I am considering cernrelink. The beaurocracy ticks me off but it is money and I could use a bit extra.
I've also taken a job working for my parents. Two jobs really. One is gardening. The back yard of their quarter acre block is suffering from a level of neglect that would be surprising even if all three members of the household were not retired. My second task is slightly more complicated. I am helping my mother get her chaotic world into some sort of order. Basically it is like life coaching but a lot more hands on. I'm doing the life coaching bit with planning strategies and such, I'm also there to keep her accountable to somebody and also to lend a hand carrying things, loading boxes, fixing computers and keeping people from interrupting her while she is sorting. The pay is better than the hospitality job and it is in cash "gift" form.
Finance isn't just about having a job. I've recently invested $1000 in an internet pyramid scam. The setup is fairly new with no further work required on my part. I am confident that I will see a sizable return in the area of $30,000 before the company folds. I've got a few ideas for scams of my own to try out. In the mid-term, this could be an handy alternative to actually working.
I'm also examining a variety of strategies for share trading. So far there is nothing that compares to scams in terms of profit to risk variables but once I have enough money to survive on interest alone, a few blue chip shares might make a handy retirement package.
So that is finance. You're still reading? Impressive.
Social:
I live with a great bunch of guys at Heresy House. Most of my social needs can be dealt with by simply staying home as there is a steady train of visitors every other day, and sometimes more frequently. They often bring generous quantities of alcohol as well so we never want for entertainment. The down side of this is that all four of us seem to rely on this to varying degrees so all of our social interactions seem to center around this house. This can, and already has, led to one or two awkward situations regarding romantic liaisons.
Ideally, a person tries to find a prospective romantic interest in a person that his friends don't know for a couple of reasons. First, if a girl is within the current social group, she probably has either dated or rejected another member of the group at some point. Second, if things don't go well, the outsider can leave again without stirring the waters overly much, so he can wait until he has an idea of the girl's personality before introducing her to his friends. No home of that here. Chances are, if I meet a girl in my house, she's been friends with one of my housemates for some time. No chance for anonymity there. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, just sometimes makes me feel like sticking a poster on the wall saying "Cast your line further".
It is silly to complain though. I'm living the dream. I and Andy spent many hours devising ideas for clubs and societies that we could run out of this house to make it a hub of activity. Now with parties, DVD nights and Dungeons and Dragons nights, it is rare to have a quiet night at all.
Romance wise, I am technically single yet have no lack of intimacy. I am finally over the Sam thing. I no longer feel any ties there. She can live whatever kind of life she wants to with my blessing. I wouldn't go there again. I'll still be a friend if she needs one, but I have enough that I don't need to see her out. I was seeing a girl who lived next door. That was nice while it lasted but she moved out and stopped returning my calls shortly after. I met a girl on the bus home from work. She was definitely interested in dating but I am so content with the current setup of my life that I am not willing to disturb the balance to start a relationship unless I think it might be "the one". By that, I mean a possible first wife. I am no monogamist. I don't think humans are really built for it.
Health:
I have been fitter. I've started going to the gym again but sometimes I get distracted and don't end up going. Also, the fact that LU is bringing home pizza from work most nights isn't great for my health either. It could be worse. He could be bringing home McDonalds.
I was very focussed on getting in shape when I was competing with Andy. Since he moved out I haven't had the same drive to push my body to its limits. I now weigh around 76kgs, which is the heaviest I've ever been in my life, but I can only dumb press about 50kgs. My aim is still to weigh 80kgs (lean) and be able to lift 40kgs in each hand.
In swimming, I've now got a fairly decent butterfly stroke and can manage about 50 meters before my arms start giving out. I've also improved my breastroke and freestyle techniques.
When I have the money, I'm going to buy a new bike and get back into cycling.
I am also considering getting back into cooking. I stopped cooking when Andy moved in because he didn't approve of a lot of my cooking and preferred to do the cooking if I did the cleaning. That worked fine for me at the time. Now that he is gone, I might get back into it.
Spirituality:
There hasn't been a lot of movement here lately. My post-Christian Atheism didn't really leave much room for magical thinking. Recently, however, I have been reminded of a lot of the impressive things I was able to achieve when I was researching the occult. I had a lot of focus then. Combining that with the hypnotic and psychology knowledge that I've picked up over the years and the cult management techniques I've observed in Christianity, I would possibly be able to begin a new religion. And if Scientology has taught us nothing else: There is a profit to be made as a prophet.
Creativity:
Most of my creativity has been focussed into my Dungeons and Dragons campaign. It is going quite well at present and the players are loving it. I've also been working with Jan and Logan on creating a computer game. That has been a lot of fun too.
I haven't been keeping up with my goal of producing ten paintings over the course of the year. My art has actually taken a bit of a back seat in my life lately. Mostly I've just been drawing sketches of Dungeons and Dragons characters for my players. I do have plans for a few larger works, and I have the time. It is just a matter of actually setting some time aside to actually start a project.

Well, that is my life as it stands. I doubt anybody has actually managed to read this far through my self absorbed ramblings, but on the off chance that you did, feel free to comment on anything you like. It doesn't have to be about the post. You could say something about ducks. I like ducks.

It has been quite a ride.

I found somebody I could love and who briefly loved me, or at least thought she did. I gave her everything I had to give but it wasn't enough. I was everything she wanted long term, but she wasn't ready. She couldn't simply accept what she wanted without first testing every other option. Indecisive and non-committed to the last. At last, in a final selfless act I sacrificed my love to set her free to create or destroy her life as she chooses, without me. Love began to die. I began to open my eyes and see her for who is, without the gentle filter of love to soften the edges and beautify the imperfections. Finally I saw her, a scared little girl, bruised from her past, afraid to make any decision and unable to accept guidance from those who have gone before. Grasping to hold together her many lives, trying to move forward without letting go of what lies behind.

I looked down at the shriveling ball of my love and looked back to her. Could I revive it and be some sort of hero to save her? No. This is something she has to deal with on her own. I cannot change a person and it would be naive to try. But perhaps I could wait. Keep that little ember alight until she had walked that path, realized what she had lost, and learned. No. There is no loss if it stays alive. With no loss, there is no lesson. With no lesson, there is no opportunity to grow. She would still be connected to me and I to her, in our initial, immature attraction. I looked down, and allowed the last embers to burn out. A wisp of black smoke rose lazily from my dead love. I looked back, feeling cold and alone once more. No more pain, no more compassion. Just cold and calculating. Watching the shadows creeping in.

Perhaps she will be alright. Perhaps she will leave a bloody trail of damaged friends and lovers in her wake. Perhaps she will grow. Perhaps she will never change. Perhaps she will remember me and wish that I could feel that way again. Perhaps she will find another who will love her for she is, or who she becomes. Will she break him too, or hold on as he breaks her? Only time will tell. It is not my responsibility. It is no longer my place to concern myself with such things.

I watched a little longer as my ideas of beauty realigned themselves to my natural desires. I watched as things I had found beautiful about her faded back to the moderate attractiveness I had initially experienced. I watched my senses re-attune themselves to desire a more womanly form. More robust genes. Respect. Self control. Honesty. Self confidence. I watched her growing smaller, still dividing herself between her past and her future; family and friends; work, sport and education. Spreading herself like butter over too much bread. Tiring herself. Breaking her body. Fading from view. I didn't need to see anymore. I turned away.

The ride is over. It was nice while it lasted. Perhaps. I don't really remember. I did love. What was that like? I'm not sure. I now walk toward my future. There is no time for the past. No time for regret or second chances. There is a whole carnival before me. So many different rides and games to play. Shooting galleries. Bobbing for apples. Strength testers. There are stuffed animals to be won and balloons to hold and hotdogs that will make you feel bloated and sick. It all seems colourless now yet, even now, as I walk into the park, I am beginning to see a little colour shining through the tents. Maybe there is still some fun to be had in this park after all.

I glance down at my hand that held my love, in loves place is now a ticket. Admit one. A pass for the next ride perhaps. Or another game. I turn it over, there is my lesson written on the back of the ticket. The lesson says “Be patient. Be observant. Learn to see a person as they are over time. Watch how they treat the others who love them before giving over your heart. Remember too, after you have done this, that even the love that will hurt you can still be worth the experience.”

I am smiling. It is a lesson well learned.